the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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