He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
