We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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