i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Randomize
