hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
