if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
