I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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