Plan B is the new Plan A
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
