Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
