We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
