oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So squirting runs in the family.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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