ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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