Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
