Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How does one acquire holy water?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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