so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
