Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
