Whatcha textin bout Willis?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
