You just made me feel so damn special
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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