she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
