Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
