The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
