Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This girl is more easily done than said...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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