Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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