I need help removing her.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
