Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
