I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
