Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
