ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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