Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
ttyl tear gas
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
