I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
