i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
