i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
