The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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