what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
