This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
