I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
