he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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