guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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