Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
