I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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