just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't put those talents on a resume
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
