my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Actions speak louder than pants.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
