how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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