im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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