Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
