Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
