Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
