i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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