I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
