I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
